April 28, 1948 - March 12, 2015


238 Greatest Quotes By Terry Pratchett

The harder I work, the luckier I become. Terry Pratchett
It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen. Terry Pratchett
The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it. Terry Pratchett
I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins. Terry Pratchett
...Human beings, little bags of thinking water held up briefly by fragile accumulations of calcium... Terry Pratchett
Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along. Terry Pratchett
Maurice watched them argue again. Humans, eh? Think they're lords of creation. Not like us cats. We know we are. Ever see a cat feed a human? Case proven. Terry Pratchett
Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter! Terry Pratchett
Tomorrow, your job is to change the world into a better place. Today, my job is to see that everyone gets there. Terry Pratchett
This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs. Terry Pratchett
Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out," said the shopkeeper. "That's what I've always thought. No one goes mad quicker than a totally sane person. Terry Pratchett
I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing and a bottle of chili sauce. Terry Pratchett
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question. Terry Pratchett
Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped. Terry Pratchett
This is a lovely party," said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here. Terry Pratchett
The hippo of recollection stirred in the muddy waters of the mind. Terry Pratchett
The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. Terry Pratchett
No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect. Terry Pratchett
I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel. Terry Pratchett
Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze. Terry Pratchett
Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot. Terry Pratchett
Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. Terry Pratchett
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT /MEANT/ TO BE SAFE. Terry Pratchett
We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything. Terry Pratchett
It's useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one. Terry Pratchett
Hey you scummers, we got a cheap lawyer and we're no' afraid tae use him!" Rob Anybody. Terry Pratchett
When Reacher Gilt talks about freedom, he means his, not anyone else's. Terry Pratchett
Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground. Terry Pratchett
Say what you like. Plutonium may give you grief for thousands of years, but arsenic is forever. Terry Pratchett
Them as can do has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices. Terry Pratchett
You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you? Terry Pratchett
He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.'. Terry Pratchett
You Say To People 'Throw Off Your Chains' And They Make New Chains For Themselves? Terry Pratchett
The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp. Terry Pratchett
The people who really run organizations are usually found several levels down, where it is still possible to get things done. Terry Pratchett
You don’t want people to be kind to animals because they’re animals, you just want people to be kind to animals because one of them might be you. Terry Pratchett
In my experience, what every true artist wants, really wants, is to be paid. Terry Pratchett
She got on with her education. In her opinion, school kept on trying to interfere with it. Terry Pratchett
It doesn't stop being magic just because you know how it works. Terry Pratchett
Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em. Terry Pratchett
[Science fiction is] out in the mainstream now. You can tell by the way mainstream literary authors pillage SF while denying they're writing it! Terry Pratchett
One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble. Terry Pratchett
Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. Terry Pratchett
If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you. Terry Pratchett
Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans! Terry Pratchett
the whole point of the wish business was to see to it that what the client got was exactly what he asked for and exactly what he didn't really want. Terry Pratchett
Bein’ a soldier is not hard. If it was, soldiers would not be able to do it. Terry Pratchett
One person is nothing. Two people are a nation. Terry Pratchett
We're living in science fiction, but we don't realize it. Terry Pratchett
People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way around. Terry Pratchett
Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity. Terry Pratchett
A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. Terry Pratchett
No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk. Terry Pratchett