Bob Hope

Actor, Comedian, Singer, Author, Athlete

May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003

May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003

Actor, Comedian, Singer, Author, Athlete


62 Greatest Quotes By Bob Hope

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. Bob Hope
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. Bob Hope
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that? Bob Hope
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. Bob Hope
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. Bob Hope
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful. Bob Hope
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap. Bob Hope
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. Bob Hope
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. Bob Hope
I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. Bob Hope
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. Bob Hope
You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it. Bob Hope
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty. Bob Hope
Failure is the only thing I've ever been a success at. Bob Hope
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness. Bob Hope
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. Bob Hope
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? Bob Hope
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it. Bob Hope
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands. Bob Hope
Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover. Bob Hope
Don't tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation. Bob Hope
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction. Bob Hope
I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there. Bob Hope
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. Bob Hope
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off. Bob Hope
I have too much money invested in sweaters. Bob Hope
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. Bob Hope
No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties. Bob Hope
I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage. Bob Hope
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time. Bob Hope
I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me. Bob Hope
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong. Bob Hope
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money. Bob Hope
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in. Bob Hope
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens. Bob Hope
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas. Bob Hope
It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets. Bob Hope
I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people. Bob Hope
Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support? Bob Hope
You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up. Bob Hope
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure. Bob Hope
I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House. Bob Hope
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold. Bob Hope
They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. Bob Hope
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens. Bob Hope
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it? Bob Hope
You've got to be rich to have a swing like that. Bob Hope
I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar! Bob Hope
With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films. Bob Hope
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun. Bob Hope
I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything. Bob Hope